On the hot, muggy August night she sits outside on her deck looking up into the dark, midnight sky and seeing all of its millions of stars. She sits deep in thought of her lifes events both past and present. A smile slowly curves her lips as she remembers the happy times with her friends and family, so many memories. A tear then slowly trickles down her cheek as thoughts of friends and family passed slowly creep in. Remembering she must take the good with the bad.
She is so full of mixed emotions her heart aches with the turmoil of it all. She remembers clearly of the night before and how she spent it with a man she holds close to her heart. The touching, the kissing, the feelings of passion; how his lips fit perfectly to hers, how his smile and presence melts her heart. The feeling of her body brushing up against his still fresh in her mind and the breath-taking, burning sensation her body felt as he touched her all over; her body now tingling at the thought. The memory of his tongue licking over her freshly shaved lips causing her to ache for him to be in her again. A smile curves slowly and only halfway knowing she fell for a man she can not have. She remembers the feeling of content she had when she awoke next to him in the morning.
She looks up at the millions of stars before her, twinkling proudly. She ordinarily is an assertive, optimistic woman however, every human slips past in to the sadness at times. Staying strong is what she does best she reminds herself, but a weak moment is what she now needs. It is always best to keep the strong woman for the public appearance. She slowly shakes her head at her own thoughts, wishing she could find the strength she now needs to help her.
The wind lightly blows across her face; the sounds of bullfrogs and crickets slip past and the rustle of something in the nearby woods in the background. She thinks to herself how nice it would be to be sharing this with the man whom has captured her heart; how desperately she wished to know how he felt about her. She leans back onto her lounge chair with her face up to the moon as she slowly closes her eyes as the tears slide to the side of her face into her hair. She breathes in and out slowly, decreasing her heart rate as she tries to temporarily distress herself.
The slightest thought of not having this man in her life brings the feeling of dread deep into the pit of her stomach and heart. She earnestly tries to push these thoughts from her mind but unable to because of the truth it may hold. Goosebumps form on her tanned, toned arms as the breeze blows over her again. Her hands move to her arms where she gently rubs them up and down to rid them of the goosebumps. She opens her eyes to look up at the millions of stars and wonders which one is hers? What if the North Star burns out? What if one of the stars that make up the Big or Little Dippers burns out? They all do eventually burn out.
She sighs.
She sees a falling star and holds her breath without realizing it. Should she make a wish or not? Should she wish for love? Is she loveable? Does she deserve to be loved? Will it ever happen? Her mind goes off with questions. Perhaps wishing for world peace would be more effective. She closes her eyes and makes a wish, and then she slowly opens them again. Time ticks by as she lays there and watches the sky. It has been a very long time since she has done just this, relax and think. Enjoy Mother Nature and what is has to offer.
